With Kaylie Seed
I must say, I think it is so important to constantly be learning and becoming more of ourselves especially in a world that wants you to conform to the “norm”. Where did you get the idea and inspiration to write See Me which is a guide to living your authentic life?
“Be fearlessly authentic.” These were three words I began to live by in my second year of university. The result? Happiness and success.
In January 2019, which was during my second year in university, I was approached by one of my best friends, Julia Sun. She told me she was offered to write a book through an organization called, Creator Institute, who was looking for additional passionate writers to embark on this (crazy, insane, unimaginable) journey. She asked me if I wanted to hop on board and write a book in less than a year. At first I was perplexed at the thought of writing a book while in school, working part-time, participating in various extracurricular activities, and overall, being only 19 years old. Instead of succumbing to self-doubt and being intimidated by this daunting endeavour, I thought to myself, “Why the hell not?”
I began to think about a question I had asked myself earlier in university, “Why can’t we be authentic now at this young age?” I decided I would create a self-help (rather, self-discovery) book for young adults and provide my insights for how they can live an authentic life. I decided to incorporate my own experiences and twenty other individuals’ stories to explain how every person is both capable and deserving to live an authentic life. My goal with my book was to inspire authentic living in young adults because we all deserve to feel confident in who we truly are.
Regardless of whether you read my book or not, you deserve to live an authentic life. One of my favourite quotes is: “Be fearlessly authentic.” I think the fearless element is a significant component of authentic living. To be authentic, is to feel confident in who you are as a whole, and to be able to express that in all facets of life. It’s one’s uncanny ability to go against the norm and to remain true to who they are. It’s one’s ability to love who they are, flaws and all. It’s one’s ability to pursue their values, goals, and dreams regardless of what anyone else tells them. Ultimately, being authentic is to be unapologetically yourself.
How did you choose the diverse array of people to interview for See Me?
The most interesting thing about my journey with my book was that as soon as I set my intention to write my book, I believe the Universe conspired to help me publish it. As soon as this opportunity presented itself, I had full belief that I was going to do this. As a result, people and events were placed in my life in a way that allowed me to share what I shared. I didn’t have a plan for my book whatsoever. Rather these individuals came into my life over the course of writing it which made the process so beautiful and enriching. Each individual was authentic but had an incredibly unique lesson to provide. They taught me so much and everything they shared was so invaluable that I had to put it in my book.
What is the number one piece of advice you would give our readers on their journey to become their most authentic selves?
This is a challenging question as there are so many elements that go into living an authentic life (heck, I’m still learning!). However, if someone were to take that first initial step to living an authentic life, I would tell them to face their fears of being seen for who they truly are which then leads them to overcoming the fear of judgment. As soon as you let go of this whole idea of being judged (because judgment is inevitable), your life becomes a whole lot more liberating and meaningful. I recently discussed this in an Instagram post...
One of the biggest challenges I faced while writing my book, See Me, was the fear of being judged. Sometimes when I was writing I would limit myself because I was afraid of what my readers would think of me. This was something I had experienced for the first few months of my writing journey. However, near the end of finalizing my manuscript I realized that if I did not share everything that makes me who I am, then I would be contradicting the main message of my book: be fearlessly authentic. Talking about authenticity and actually being authentic are two different things. As such, I realized that I needed to overcome this fear and to be authentic in all aspects of my writing (and of course, my life as well).
With any personal pursuit, when this sense of fear of being judged begins impacting your goal, think about how many people would miss out on the value of your work if it was never shared with the world. Think about how many people need your help and that your actions can positively impact many. You will have substantially more supporters and people benefited than those who do not support you. Remind yourself that any personal pursuit is a brave endeavour and that you should be proud of your accomplishment.
Criticism and judgment is inevitable (yes, I have gotten some critical reviews) but at the end of the day you must ask yourself? “𝐈𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧’𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞
𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞?” It’s up to you to answer this question.
Something else I did not add is that judgment is based on someone else’s perspective. Emphasizing SOMEONE ELSE’S. So at the end of the day, if someone is judging you in a negative light, that is a THEM problem, not a you problem. You know who you are at the end of the day, so stop trying to appease their perspective of you. It’s unfortunate because I sometimes get wrapped up in trying to be perfect and please just to prevent judgment but that judgment still happens anyways! As soon as you recognize that judgment is a THEM problem and not a YOU problem, your life is so much more liberating.
What was the most surprising thing that you learned while going through the process of creating and writing See Me?
As someone who was previously so shy and afraid of the world, I was surprised I developed this new philosophy: “Why not now?”
I always used to think that we had to reach certain milestones in our lives to achieve audacious goals...I never thought that a young person could write a book. However, when I was presented the opportunity, it was like my fears were lifted and I said to myself “Why not now?” I realized that no matter what age you are, you can do whatever you want and make a positive impact.
As I continue to tell myself “Why not now?” I continue to achieve great things. I think a lot of us develop timelines in our heads for achievement but as soon as you let go of those timelines and go for it, MAGIC HAPPENS!
With such a great debut novel, I have to ask, will there be another book from you soon?
I am hoping to publish another book in December 2021. Details will probably come out about this next year as I’m writing it slower this time around.
Now that you’ve finished the process of publishing your first novel, what advice would you give to aspiring writers?
Read: The BEST way to learn how to write is to READ! Choose topics that intrigue you and read about them.
Just Start: The best way to start writing is to START. It does not matter if you write the best introduction of all time right at the very beginning. Honestly, whenever I start writing, usually the first thing I put down on paper does not get included in the final piece. Starting is simply a way for you to generate ideas.
Do Not Force It: The time allocated to researching, brainstorming, drafting, and editing varies with every piece. Sometimes it takes me 20 minutes and sometimes it takes me over a week. I think it is important to recognize that creativity comes in bursts. Do not waste your time overthinking your idea.
Be Consistent: Although this may appear to contradict tip #3, it is important to note that writing (particularly a book) takes a lot of time and work. The word “consistency” is a little bit different for me. When I wrote my book, I had to consistently show up every single day to work on my book. Now, whether that be 20 minutes or 12 hours, it always varied. It is showing up to your work consistently that will allow you to thrive.
Understand that the more you write, the better you will be at it: I often laugh when I read my first article I ever published online (for a platform called Her Campus) and compare it to pieces I recently wrote. My writing has improved drastically over the past two years and it was all mostly self-taught. The more your practice writing the better you will get at it. I think that the most beautiful thing about craft is that you will constantly grow and improve with it.
Embrace Peer Editing: I truly believe that an ingenious piece of work doesn’t come through writing a story, rather it’s through the constant editing and revising that makes a writer’s work flourish. Peer editing can be daunting for some, however the more criticism you get, the better. You need to find someone who you are acquainted with who will give you honest feedback.
You must have a passion for writing and what you are writing about!: This is the number one tip I can give you. Passion is the secret ingredient to thrive in the world of craft. Do not force yourself to do something you do not want to do. Do it because you love writing and what you are writing about.
What is your “must-read” book recommendation and what book has had the most impact and influence on your writing?
This is such a hard question because I find every book is unique in its own way and I think that’s what makes craft so beautiful! However, I got into the self-help genre when I read Sarah Knight’s, You Do You. I also enjoy memoirs like Chanel Miller’s, Know My Name. I love reading about stories of people who have overcome adversities and have used those hardships to enact positive change.